By Rudy Montijo
Holidays and Two Familes
Blending two families can be very tricky, and the cause of many arguments. When two people come from different backgrounds they bring different traditions along with them. Their traditions.
When it comes to family traditions each person can feel like they NEED to keep it going or fight to maintain what they always have done. If two people are holding on...we have a recipe for an argument.
So how do we get past it?
I had to learn a few things as I got sober, matured emotionally, and worked on my relationship. The first and the most important piece was my current relationship, which was the most important. While there were certain traditions we had growing up, it was now time to make my own. This doesn't mean tossing to the old completely it simply means a little compromise.
In this case, it was Easter. (I'll get to Christmas later). Having young kids we wanted A. to have our own tradition we built with our nuclear family and B. Allow time for grandparents, brothers, sisters, and cousins to be involved too!
My family is large, hers is small...it would be a little too much to have everyone at one house so this year we decided to split up the weekend. Saturday afternoon my family all would come over, eat, egg hunt and use that as 1 Easter. Then on Sunday, we would wake up, celebrate with our kids then go to her sister's house to spend time with her side.
It worked out perfectly and in the end, everyone was happy.
This wasn't always the case. I've had to learn how to communicate better, not assume, and also not be so attached to outcomes. There were times when holidays were huge stress and sometimes they still can be. However, now I have the skills to get through them peacefully which is great for my family and my sobriety. I teach this in Altered Ego.
If you or any male in your life you know is struggling with alcohol, drugs, personal adversity or simply needs a little guidance. I encourage them to book a free, private consultation to see if Altered Ego can make a positive influence in their life.